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PostPosted: Mon Sep 14, 2009 3:14 pm 
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Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words.

*The winners are:*

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

*The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:*

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

9. Karmageddon (n): Its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

*And the pick of the literature:*

16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 14, 2009 4:43 pm 
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16 and 16

Both priceless.

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 14, 2009 6:19 pm 
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7 and 16!

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 14, 2009 6:35 pm 
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9 and 16

The last #16 should be a real word in the dictionary :D

Vicki

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 15, 2009 9:05 am 
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14 and 12...
I think I'm gong to hang 14 up in my office at work...
Lawrence


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 15, 2009 9:24 am 
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I liked all of them. :-D
Thanks for the learning post. 8)

Someone once called me an "Ignoranus"...Now I know what it means! :shock: :confused: :x :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

Rog

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 15, 2009 6:48 pm 
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Just thoght of another one,,,, BLABBERGASTED (Adj.)..... Astonished at the size of the phone bill when there's teenagers in the household.

Ray

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 15, 2009 7:39 pm 
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turnpike wrote:
Just thoght of another one,,,, BLABBERGASTED (Adj.)..... Astonished at the size of the phone bill when there's teenagers in the household.

Ray


Or the number of posts that some people have on this forum. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Rog

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Dont badmouth no strangers, they just friends you aint met yet.

An ounce of responsibility is worth a pound of State and Federal laws.

I spent most of my money on woodworking
tools and beer, the rest I just wasted.


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