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PostPosted: Mon Sep 07, 2009 6:58 pm 
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Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2007 8:11 pm
Posts: 985
Location: O'Fallon, MO
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Party.
Jack is not normally a big drinker, but he didn't even remember how he
got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he
did something wrong. He had to force himself to open his eyes, and the
first thing he sees on the side table is a couple of aspirins, a glass of
water, and a single red rose!! Then he sits up and sees his clothing in
front of him, all clean and pressed. Looking around the room, he sees that
everything is spotless and in perfect order. He takes the aspirins, then
cringes when he notices a huge black eye staring back at him from the
bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note from his wife hanging on the
corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts and a kiss mark
in lipstick: 'Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get
groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you,
darling! Love, Jillian' He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there
is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee, and the morning newspaper. His 16
year old son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, 'Son.. What
happened last night?

'Well,you came home around 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell
over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway and
got that black eye when you ran into the door. Confused, he asked his
son,'So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean, and why do
I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?? His son
replies,


'Oh THAT... well, after you ran into the door, Mom dragged you to the
bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, 'Leave
me alone, I'm married!!'


Broken Coffee Table $239.99
Hot Breakfast $4.20
Two Aspirin $.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time.
PRICELESS!

Bill

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Amateur Bill
O'Fallon, MO
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If a man speaks in the forest, and no woman hears him, is he still wrong?

I'm in shape, round is a shape.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 07, 2009 7:39 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2007 5:35 pm
Posts: 3620
Location: Hutchinson Ks
Another good one Bro! :lol: :lol:

Rog

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An ounce of responsibility is worth a pound of State and Federal laws.

I spent most of my money on woodworking
tools and beer, the rest I just wasted.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 07, 2009 11:11 pm 
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Joined: Sun Mar 13, 2005 1:01 am
Posts: 5338
Location: Lumberton, MS
Priceless!!!!

Jimmy

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WWA I've met builder bob, pconery
Guroo, Gray Beard, CEB
Scotman, El Mostro, Clipper
Jess, John T, Verna
Dan Lanucek, Daddy Gloves, Yank,
GG, Gene


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 08, 2009 10:25 am 
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Posts: 1839
Location: Grand Rapids, Michigan, U.S.A.
We keep things real simple around here.

I'm a lousy liar and my wife talks in her sleep. No secrets! :shock:
:D :D :D

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Tim Eastman
Lead by example - be an example worth following


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 08, 2009 11:11 pm 
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Joined: Mon Sep 04, 2000 12:01 am
Posts: 15387
Location: Maui,Hawaii
WHew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

that was close eh? that could have turned ugly

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The land some where in the middle
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